Thoughts that Occurred to Me While Watching ‘Teen
So I watched both hours of MTV’s new Teen Wolf series which
premiered last night. The show itself is not bad, if you're into
the whole supernatural genre, and if you're into lacrosse, well,
it's just about the laxiest thing I've ever seen on television,
barring an actual game. The action isn't perfect, but one thing
that is kind of cool is that the lacrosse is pretty integral to the
plot. Here's what I thought while watching the show.
- Scene 1: We meet Scott, who has decent flow and is stringing
his own stick. Nice to have the lax right out front.
- Who walks around with sticks attached to their backpacks? This
happens through the show and is really odd.
- The popular kids are smack-talking football because lax is king
at their school. Where would football and lax be played in the same
season? Or is Allison just really dumb? It might be the latter.
Both Allison the Damsel in Distress and Lydia the Mean Girl
Lacrosstitute are terrible characters.
- Tryouts. Scott’s goalie stance is bad. I guess lycan
superpowers override poor form. The Evil Rich Kid’s jump shot
was cool, as are all the Matrix-y shots of the lacrosse ball. The
equipment all looks up to date. I’ll give the action a B.
Some is good – each faceoff is SO DRAMATIC – but some
is clunky. And why is there a one-day tryout for what we’ve
been told is a state champion team? Why does one awesome Mikey
Powell style flip get Scott a starting spot?
- Why is Scott hanging out in full practice gear in front of the
- Why are Scott and Stiles loudly discussing secret werewolf
stuff in the locker room full of other dudes? Why is Stiles still
wearing his gloves in the locker room, while Scott has taken off
his pads and his shirt? Oh wait, practice is just STARTING? Then
why did Scott take off his pads and shirt for no reason, after
wearing them to bum around school?
- Practice. Scott gets all werewolf-y, lays out the Evil Rich Kid
and then whines, “But that’s lacrosse! It’s a
pretty violent game if you hadn’t noticed!” (Note: US
Lacrosse does not endorse this message.)
- Practice again. The coach is wearing a baseball glove (?). Evil
Rich Kid got demoted to D-pole. BURN!
- The evil senior werewolf destroyed Scott’s mesh! Not
cool, bro. If you honestly think this means Scott will not be
playing in the BIG GAME, you have never before seen a TV show or
movie. For lo, Scott restrung his stick and is totally playing in
the BIG GAME!
- THE BIG GAME! The director really loves faceoffs. The lacrosse
looks cool, just not…quite right, or as fast as you’d
expect. Evil Rich Kid tells the other players not to pass to Scott,
which makes Scott angry and werewolf-y.
- We cut to the fourth quarter where Beacon Hill is down 5-3,
with 1:29 to play. Scott busts out some supernatural strength and
speed (and some really unconvincing dodges) to score a hat trick
and win the game. While the action here was only OK, it was a good
demonstration of why lacrosse is fun – you can be down two
with 90 seconds to play and still win it. Demerit points for the
continuity team that allowed the clock to run out the last seconds,
though. The teams would have reset for another faceoff. Scott
responds to winning by running off the field. Allison finds him in
the locker room and they make out. I bet Scott smells awesome,
having recently played an entire lacrosse game and shapeshifted
into a werewolf and back.
- Evil Rich Kid discovers Scott’s abandoned glove, and
thoughtfully regards what we know are claw holes in the fingertips.
ERK wonders if he can get Scott DQ’ed for illegal
- I don’t know if it was a conscious choice by the
show’s creators, but lacrosse actually functions much better
than basketball (as in the original movie) as a plot device,
because of all the protective equipment. Close-ups allow the viewer
to see when a transformation is taking place, but other characters
just think Scott’s displaying some crazy athleticism. That
bodes well for lacrosse remaining an integral part of the show
(unlike on the new 90210, where it was introduced and then dropped)
because they can tease Scott's secret for a long time.